The Farewell

The Farewell Review

2019 seems more than a few years ago. Mum had been put on watch for her regarding-rds to cancer, but nothing was inevitable; the notion shared with me was ‘beginning shadows’. Mum was keen to see the film, but I felt it prudent to see it beforehand. Being largely subtitled with very little English and no dubbed screenings, I told my mum, who was a bit upset but insisted I act out the film and explain what happens. I explained the lead was Billie, who was a slack, happy trendy, something living that city life of aimless immaturity. She paused, and responded that ‘she knew the type.’

I also focussed on Nai Nai, who is not told of her condition, at least outwardly by anyone in the family or the doctors. But that is their tradition in the view that it is for others to hold the burden for the patient while they enjoy a quality of life with whatever time they have. The result is that while everyone in the family seems obsessed with making Billie the scapegoat, her difficulties in processing the situation are valid. It amounts to a great deal of stress masked by a sudden wedding where each family member seems to lose their head while nia nai is the only one of strength and centre at the whole thing. She liked that.

Tai chi is not one of my fortes, but pretending to be Nai and doing the exercises with focus and my big round butt did seem to lift Mum’s spirit and the fact that Nai was still alive in real life even after the film was made. 

On rewatching it now, being that bit older and Mum having passed. I see more in how the brothers deal with the prospect of losing their mother. The Mother explained to Billie why they moved to the States. The film, by fixating on the wedding, gives us two of the three big things in life. The cross-cultural issues by being placed first and foremost in the family are purely a state of the show, not tell, making the film far more prosperous than any exposition. As family members start to snipe at leaving for America vs staying in China, the usual status arguments of any weeding come to the fore. Drunk inappropriate speeches, off-key karaoke, absurd photoshoots, and anxious brides to be taking a long hard look at their upcoming inlaws all raise a toast in the second half. Billie herself vocalises her estrangement being as much cultural as geographical as being utterly othered from her childhood.

I only went to India in my late teens. Still, it was never about another culture or another family. In turn, not just understanding the world but my relatives, including my father, was vital in every respect. Billie’s questions as things seem to become more e, ephemeral about her past, heritage, and her legacy. But the film also answers with a deep sense of life questions.

Is heritage in our material goods, language, customs, or beliefs? 

And how they evolve with each generation. I just ate a pack of Tupperware biriyani; Dad repurchased it last night, and I microwaved a cheese slice on top of it. I also made a small pot of beans.

But Mum loved my stripped-down rendition and the fact that life is how you live. It can’t be escaped and embodied better.

A great comedy with a healthy beating sense of self in a chaotic time. Do seek it out